Women v. Men

One evening last week, Susan and Fred were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

Fred said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Susan responded to Fred's puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, Fred went to sleep. The very next day he opted to take the day off of work to spend time with his woman. They went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. He walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so he told her that he'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so he said lets get a pair for each outfit. They went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

She was so excited! She must have thought Fred was one wave short of a shipwreck. He started to think she was testing him because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. He threw her for a loop when he said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." Fred could hardly contain himself when he blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" He then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill him, he added;

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy for you?"

Fred is not having sex tonight either.